L.A. Anatomía

Four years ago, I was in a Best Buy at the Westminster Mall in Huntington Beach, buying a Hewlett Packard laptop. Four years later, my laptop had undergone international travel several times, two harddrive meltdowns and a burned-out backlight. Because of the last item on the list, my poor HP was officially declared deceased by the Best Buy Geek Squad on Saturday December 20th. Ok, it’s not dead, but it’s no longer functional. With no monitor capability, my HP must be put out to pasture and unplugged permanently.The nice thing about New Years, which I’ve learned to take advantage of in recent years, is that they do offer people an opportunity to move forward, step outside of their comfort zones and try something new. So, it was with the spirit of 2009 in mind that I found myself in an Apple Store over the Christmas holidays.Apple Stores are weird. They remind me of bookstores….but not. You know how you can go into a bookstore, browse, read, chat with friends, drink coffee and never actually buy a book? That’s the vibe I got from the Mac crowd on December 26. The stores are set up with large tables. On each table, there are several pieces of equipment for customers to play with. There were children’s stations. There were people just browsing on the net. There were Apple geeks.Go figure.I’m always surprised at how easy it is to buy a computer. I’ve bought one online, I’ve bought one at Best Buy and I’ve bought one at the Apple Store now. Salespeople are never as helpful until you actually have decided to make the purchase. Apple Rep 1, who helped me in my pre-hunt for a computer, was very unhelpful. He was all like, “You know Apples are awesome. Yay!”  Whereas Apple Rep 2, who helped me in my I-want-to-buy-a-Mac hunt, was all, “You know Apples are awesome, and I want to make sure you are very comfortable with your purchase.”But in the end, you take a risk in buying any piece of equipment. I remember standing in line with a new TV at the Best Buy when a fellow customer helpfully remarked that he had bought the same TV for a friend; it had broken a week later.And that’s kind of the way with New Years. Who knows what they’ll bring or if your investments will payoff. Much like the economic shakeup of 2008, we can only know so much right?So it is the same with this blog, which is now being written to you all from a Mac. Thank you so much for tuning into the ups and downs of 2008. We hope that you’ll stick around and enjoy the happenings of Los Angeles, as reflected here, during 2009. 

During the fires this year, my local city hall sent updates via text messages to let residents know what roads were closed, the status of all the blazes and other fire-related information. Imagine my surprise when just three days earlier, I started getting local government messages about all the snow clogging up the 14 Freeway and the Antelope Valley. I also knew of several people who were snowed in. They couldn’t leave their homes and drive into LA proper for work.

To play with a well-known movie quote, Is this really the desert of the real?

The once bedroom community of Glendale has recently been jolted out of its sleepy state with a splashy new outdoor mall centered squarely in the middle of Brand Blvd. known as the Americana.  Some call the structure an ostentatious eye sore. The developers of the Americana, Caruso Affiliates have determined to make the out door “entertainment center” into the “center of town.”
Let’s call it what it for what it really is, shall we? It’s an out door mall. Cap a roof over the 15,5 acres f prime property and you basically have an extension of the Glendale Galleria.
But seriously, many failed attempts have been made to create that nucleus, most recently being the Glendale Market Place, which sits on the other side of the Americana on Brand.  Perhaps hard economic times are to blame, but two major chain stores–Tower Records and Linen and Things–have closed down with no other business stepping up to replace them.
So much for being the center of the community’s attention.
The Empty storefronts sit right across from the newly polished Americana, like some vexed omen.  Will the Americana suffer the same fate?
The local government is gambling that it won’t.  In fact, the local government is depending on the success of the Americana to bring in revenue as well as create new jobs in the community.  They hope that the Americana will do to Glendale what the Grove did to the Fairfax area. Caruso’s construction crazy crew also created/ the Grove and was said to be insane to set up a multi-million shopping center in a predominantly Hassidic neighborhood.
Well Caruso is still crazy to think that he can create a place where families can get “relax” and “lounge” in a safe environment, when you have a community that has a lot of kids.  Even though the place is geared for the 20-30 something’s, anyone in their right mind stay away from that zoo, filled with baby carriages and bratty teens running on the freshly manicured grass. Caruso should know better.
What about the homegrown businesses up and down the rest of Brand Blvd.?
Obviously, they’re not as thrilled.  Some believe it will cause even more traffic on the Boulevard, which will deter visitors from staying to explore other businesses in the area.  Others think that in the long run, the flow of traffic to the Americana will trickle over to their businesses as well.  Either way, the businesses on Mid-Brand, which includes the historic Alex Theatre, are banding together to create more community/family-orientated events to bring people towards the north end of Boulevard.
Local Glendale-ians were also concerned with potential traffic along already overflowing streets.  Structures that tower over the shops create an even more cramped and crammed feeling when you walk through them, by them, or pass them in your car.  Wedged between one of the Gallerias parking lots and the gaudy looking Golden Key Hotel, the Americana has had to squeeze itself on the 15 acre piece of prime property.  (A special thanks goes to the Golden Key hotel, for standing up this manufactured crap.  I’m sure it really pissed off Caruso and Crew).
What has some concerned is the outrageous price of the surrounding apartment buildings and lofts, that range from low $700,000 to $2 million with rents from $2,000 to $5,500 a month.  Nathan Wong, a local resident of the Glendale area was quoted $650,000 for an entry level/one-bedroom condo, when he first inquired about the living spaces.  You could buy a house with that kind of cash.
Over lunch I asked him what his thoughts were about the Americana. After he slammed down his coffee mug, he stated, “you would think that all the foot traffic and the sales from the (high-end) retail stores would be more than enough to lower prices for an entry level home ownership.”
Creating affordable housing for the rich, enforcing an even more rigid divide between the income brackets. But that’s not the case: Caruso believes that the city of Glendale is ripe with disposable income willing to shell out the hefty price of the luxury spaces.
Maybe Caruso and friends should change their motto to “Caruso constructions, keeping social classes where they belong.” Because, I haven’t yet heard of anyone who’s actually moved into the Americana, have you?

I’ve found myself here again.
The place we vowed never to return. Somehow it happened.
The exit map on my palm is smeared with your cryptic words
I can’t decipher them now.
How did we lose each other, Al? We were going along so famously. Where are you now?
Be my friend, Al.
I’m calling for you — why aren’t you picking up the telepathic phone?
My dime can’t stretch that long — it’s going to cu-
I need a friend, Al.
Hopeless-ness
Has made a bed
Of my face….
Fold me up
Put me in your pocket – next to your leaky pen
Let me rest my ear against your, warm, beating heart
I want to hear
something
other than my own
break-ing….

If there’s one thing I lack, then it’s a memory for alcohol. I just can’t remember the names, mixes, glasses or fruit that adorn the liquored liquids. It’s not because I overdrink, but rather, it’s that I just can’t bother. Nonetheless, November proved to be a month in which I wandered through several scenes across Los Angeles that could be deemed “hot” in that they were places to chill with a drink in hand.

The rundown:

1) Le Cave in Newport Beach was a  fun spot. I remember I had a green drink in a martini glass–I’m going to guess apple? There was also a jazz band. It was nice that the music was in a separate room so that you could still hear your friends if you so desired.

2) I love how wine bars are popping up all over Los Angeles; I just prefer them to regular bars for more than a few reasons. Anyway, AH and I ended at Wine 661 in Santa Clarita. Very chill atmosphere and a friendly bartender/owner who willingly helped me fine that perfect mellow white wine for a weekday. We asked her if there were differences between the wine tastes of men and women, but the bartender said that she found no rhyme or reason to an individual’s preference.

3) For an AFFMA (Arpa Foundation for Film, Music and Art) event, AH and I showed up at Ca’Brea on Brea. Even though the crowd was mainly made up of Armenians supporting Armenian artists, the restaurant served Italian food. (Although, AH says the owners are Armenian. Cool.) We didn’t really eat. The bartender made some viciously potent, sweet and tart lemon something-or-others. AH and I wined, dined and schmoozed. Then we went to a restaurant in Silverlake wherein we shared a plate of French fries and a bowl of udon. While eating, our companions spied Dita von Tease eating at the counter. We broke into whispers, stared at here, then quickly looked away when she wandered by. One of our companions introduced himself on her way back to her seat. She was gracious. She wore a pencil skirt, boat neck top and a feathered hat. I guess she was just taking it easy.

That’s really all. A little muddled, but so it goes when alcohol, words and writers mix.

The Los Angeles Fire Department was obviously very busy this last month with the numerous wild fires made all the more dangerous by dry and hot weather as well as really fast winds. And it was this week, in a seminar that I attended near Santa Monica, that I learned a little something about LAFD protocols. *11/30/2008 EDIT: Received a comment from LAFD PR that clarifies the information of this post. It was very nice of them to send the correction, and it was also interesting to see who comes across this little blog.*

Such a truth really put what fire fighters go through in perspective for me. And it really drove home what our 17-year old veteran said about the dedicated: “Some of them just breathe this stuff. It just moves them to help people.” I guess no matter the outcome…no matter what.

Monday Morning gas was $2.05

Monday Afternoon gas was $1.99

Tuesday, gas was $1.95

From this, I’ve come to the conclusion that you can really tell the state of the world economy by gas prices. The faster they fall, the worse they must be. Not more than four months ago, I needed $70 to fill my gas tank. Now, I only need about $30.

I’m all for better gas prices, but this can’t bode well for anyone.

Well, I guess not that strange, but the truth is that I never really knew where Pacific Palisades was before. What is Pacific Palisades? Of course, I knew the name. My friends and I knew it existed. But we guessed in other areas and not exactly where it actually was — north of Los Angeles proper, along the coast and just west of Malibu.

We went hiking in Temescal Canyon. While the trail was quintessential California wilderness–dry, desertlike and etc, the view from the trail was something out of the tropics. Up on the peak of the trail, we looked over Los Angeles proper and the green, verdant cliffsides of Pacific Palisades.

(The following post has been sitting around in the draftbox for awhile, so why not put it up even if incomplete? The ending: We hiked. It was fun. The scenery made Los Angeles seem like a landscape from Laos–mists rolled below hilltops that were green, green and green. Wait. I remember Laoitian mountains as purple. Scratch that and substitute Thai hills instead. )

Whew! I was wondering what to write about when I suddenly realized that the perfect story had fallen into my hands. How could I not have known? Am I such a self-involved Angeleno that I missed what was right in front of my face?

Speaking of what’s in front of your face, what is up with all the vampire love? Why are people so in love with the idea of vampires as lovers? Yeah, they have that whole “I’m a child of the night, immortal, pretty and pale” but what about the downside to dating the pointy-teethed suckers? First of all, they will always have cold feet and hands, which has got to make cuddling a bit annoying. Then, there’s that whole bloodsucking thing; I mean really? How are you going to build a life around those eating habits? Third, they live for freaking ever so this means that the vamp’s got to be broody like Angel or foolhardy like Lestat. What I mean is that they’re going to have ISSUES piled up like a Shel Silverstein garbage pile. You think you’ve got issues being an attractive teen or 20 something? Just check out the mess stewing behind your vampire lover’s pretty 100-year plus facade. Fourth, they’re demons. Don’t care how you coat it, twist it or magic it away; there’s a reason vampires stalk the night. Sure, they could be badboys with sweet hearts, but in the end, the majority of them probably would just want to rip out yours.

Have you figured out that I’m talking about Twilight?

Yesterday, while I wandered through Westwood al lado de UCLA, I discovered that the movie premiere of Twilight was in full swing. The tweens had come out in full force. A bus pulled over and let out a horde with signs! There was a girl wearing a cheerleader uniform with a “Team Jacob” embroidered on front. They were all pressed up at the edge of the sidewalk, squealing for “Edward! Edward!” Or whoever the actor who plays Edward is.

A girl and her boyfriend, who were not tweens or teens, walked by with vampire teeth.

A parking garage–for you must pay for parking in Westwood–had jacked up their price from $5 to $25 for the night.

Twilight has come to the city of angels!

So what does this have to do with the whole Los Angeles anatomy crap that AH and I like to post in this little blogspace? Well, I’ll tell you. As I mentioned, sometimes Angelenos are self-involved. We live in a very big, spaced out city full of spacy people who are running from point A to point B via a traffic-congested highway with ash in the air (or at least this week) and smog. We are hooked up to our GPS, blackberries and laptops, communicating a zillion things to a zillion different people. We may not walk but we move fast. Take for instance, a friend who’s just moved in to town from the Midwest. It’s only been a week and she feels run over by the fast pace that we drive at, talk at and think at.

So anyway, Angelenos move so fast that we miss things like Cordelia Chase from Buffy the Vampire Slayer once did when she went to visit a famous Hollywood director in Los Angeles. Even though she was a native of Sunnydale and personally knew the Slayer, Cordelia missed all the alarms that pointed out her “in” to Hollywood was actually a way to check “out” of life. And that’s kind of how I felt when I walked smack into the tweeny crowds at the Twilight premiere. I’ve lived in LA how many years? And how many times have I come across the whole 9-yards movie premiere?

Zero?

But why should I be surprised? Of course, it’s Westwood! Of course, it’s the perfect place for a premiere! And of course vampire love stories will always have a place in the hearts of Angelenos because this is LA. Where else could they hide so well?

On the Hollywood Tower of Terror ride in California Adventure, I sat in my seat, with a seatbelt around my waist, and secured my purse around my shoulders. While the ride shot up and down, I remember noting how my purse rose in the air and seemed to fall at the same rate as my body on the ride. Huh, I thought, physics work.